|
crimsonkat
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Minh
Country: United States
State: California
Metro: Berkeley
Birthday: 5/3/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: Tennis, volunteering, singing, reading...
Expertise: Being myself...well I'm still perfecting my technique. Just give me a little time.
Message: message me
Member Since:
10/6/2003
|
|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| As I'm going through life, the more I realize that I do not understand very much of it. Part of the medical school training is learning how to interview patients as a process of understanding their life situations. This information is to help you determine a treatment plan that is not just based on physical conditions but social and economic situations as well. Speaking to patients, learning about their losses and what they consistently struggle with on a daily/regular basis is really hard for me to grasp sometimes. The older I get, the more I realize how much privilege I have inherited. I come from a caring family that loves me despite my stubborn, bratty attitude, I grew up in a rather sheltered home, my parents have found ways to provide for me, I have had an AMAZING educational experience, I have always been healthy, and as of yet have not suffered any personal loss through death or otherwise. Who am I to empathize with the community I want to work in?
This really hit home today when a piece of the news came to life. My heart is breaking for my classmate and his family, but deep down I know I do not really understand what he is going through and do not know how to help. So, for my future patients - will I be able to help them to the extent that I wish unless I can build similar life experiences? Then again, since most physicians of the past come from more privileged situations, what exactly entails a good doctor?
...and now...what do i think is more important...treating a patient's physical condition, or trying to improve their social environment? I'm having a hard time sustaining the spirit of both.
BUT, in a happier note (for the few who might be reading) - I am having a lot of internal debate with myself but it does not imply I am not pleased with med school. In fact, I am loving it and amazingly impressed by being a part of it.
| | |
| dang, i have not updated in a long time...i was even confused by xanga's newlook! So, my last entry was October 2007...it makes it hard to even realize where to start..........
Um, so let's see, I worked in a doctor's office for about 5 months and it became my first full-time job and the first thing I have ever quit. I liked most of my co-workers and talking to them kind of brought me back to the real world after a lifetime of schooling and higher education. Besides one messed-up co-worker who thought she was the world's gift to medical records, I didn't mind the place so much. Well, that is until they put so much work on me outside my job description and offered little pay, horrible benefits, too much overtime, and shitty vacation time (ONE DAY for christmas?!?!). So, I left but luckily I'm still on good terms with my boss and my co-workers. Even though I quit, I feel like I could still visit the office without any hard feelings - hmm, maybe I should do that before I leave the east bay. I did do a lot of the shit work of the office, but i don't regret taking on that job. Now I know how a large (albeit inefficient) practice is run. I got more insight into the daily schedule of a doctor and realized I don't want to work in an 8-5pm situation. Crazy hospital schedule here I come! =P
My second job that I've been working in for the last 3 months is such an upgrade. I let go of finding a job in the medical field and am now working in the equity and inclusion office on campus. This kind of transition made me wonder for a little bit whether I'm really cut out for the medical field when I enjoy this kind of work so much more. I mean, look at my background - i don't really know jack shit of what I'm getting myself into by attending ucsf. Then again, i had one of the worst "medical-related" jobs ever so it's not really fair to base my passion and aspirations on that experience. I figure that I love to work with people and that I'm really good at figuring out science and the like academically so far. I think I can be a good doctor and I will find a way to impact the community through it - or so I hope. My one biggest fear is that I will somehow end up being one of those "non-legit" doctors who buys a fucking bmw and gives shitty diagnoses and doesn't know their patients. CRAP, please don't let that happen. I'm still playing with the idea of getting a dual degree in public policy with a MD and then I can go into health policy after some years of working with patients. Iono. I feel like I have a direction in my life but the vision is still blurry.
Anyway, back to this E&I - it's not my dream job, but I can honestly say I am enjoying it. Being in administration is like being a politician and not something i am not cut out for. I can't say too much more because everything else (even my opinions) are pretty confidential. How important does that sound huh? Lol, not really, and it's pretty frustrating how quiet and internal you have to make everything. I talked to Jere about this and he basically just welcomed me to the UC Berkeley Staff. Whoopee! I am allowed to give out compliments though I think, haha. Well, I really like the Chief of Staff in the office. She is down, very logical, and extremely smart and one of the greatest assets in the office I think. The Vice Chancellor himself is great on the issues he knows and is a good listener. I also like the other assistants in the office. Villy and I like the same food - YES! - and we're not thaaat different personality wise. Amy is fun and easy to talk to and BOY does she know how to get shit done! I don't know what E&I will do if she leaves. Well, I guess they'll just find another "Amy," but still, it'll be tough for awhile.
So that's my life in a nutshell lately - work. It makes life soooooooooo fucking routine! It really drove me crazy the month or two i had to break into a routine. Work, exercise, cook, sleep. repeat. for a year. damn! i'm ready to become a student lifer. Thank goodness med school lasts a long time! hahaha, i am going to look back at that statement in 4 years and think i was temporarily out of my mind. I mean, really, who says that?
But something great about the work routine are the WEEKENDS! yes! they are mine! They don't belong to retreats, conferences, or events - they are miiiiiine! But now....what the heck do you do? How do you avoid being bored every now and then? And so, the extreme importance of friendship comes in. I'm not talking about friends you kept because you had to see each other everyday but the ones you love and want to give all your free time to. I guess this could also be applied to a partner - but i don't have one so I will talk about my friends. So, for awhile, I thought a lot about my friendships and whether I really cherished all of them. Do I really like all of them as much as I should? Ok, that sounds really fucked up but shit happens. I still get mixed feelings sometimes but after something Ruby said and some recent experiences, I guess I realized that the people I consider friends and consider me a friend - well, we got something going on worth caring about. With it being so easy at this point in life to lose touch with people, I think it's more and more important to just enjoy time with them then to fucking analyze and wonder if my bad feelings on some people's faults means anything. just enjoy it! get frustrated sometimes and then realize you still love the person overall.
=)
so, that wasn't the most eloquent entry but it's a pretty good update on what I'm doing/thinking. I guess if there's anything else to update about myself - I seem to cuss a lot more. Way more. Iono how that happened. oh wells. My lingo seems to change/update itself every season or so. Darn me for being easily, sub-consciously influenced.
| | |
| "it is still possible to believe in something but still fail to live up to it." - Dr.Wilson
yeah, i've been watching House a lot lately...but i like a bunch of their ending quotes. =P
| | |
| so, i'm up and i'm trying to make myself sleepy by thinking about THE GREAT summer i had. it was amazing. it really was. Probably the best time of my life so far. I think it also gave me a new perspective on myself and on life. And actually the last two days have done the same as well.
i'm not going to say that i'm going to dictate who i think are my good friends and who aren't...but i do realize now that i have a lot of good people in my life. I know a lot of great people and thinking about them really gives me hope that by focusing on them, doing good things, and removing those not-so-great people from me that i can really enjoy life in a forever kind of way. Not to say interactions with these not-so-great people is worthless. I'm sure I learn a lot and as I always try to remind myself, there is no point in regrets. Everything means something. Yet sometimes, its better to move on, realize there is still so many more experiences and new people to enjoy time with. yup yup, and once things get settled, you find yourself in a new point in life and it feels as sane as the past points in ur life did.
haha. this post turned into a kinda free write where i just let things kinda flow nonsensically out into badly structured sentences. i remember learning about this writing style in high school. I also remember how much i hated reading it sometimes. Now i really know why authors choose it. Every aspect of writing can reveal so much about the plot and character if you just choose to notice it. (most of the time i don't, i should try harder now)
and there i go on another tangent.
Here is another one. I've felt hate lately. and i feel it even more now...and its a genuine and strong emotion. I'm pretty sure that i've never felt it this way before. But, because of what it has done for me, I am kind of glad for it and now I can focus on what is important...the people that deserve me and who i can deserve in return.
um, ok. if its not obvious, i guess i'm going through a stage in my life. =P | | |
| i ran along the beach near my house today and saw birds, planes, kites, baby squirrels, and children going by.
i think i'm going to like it here.
| | |
|
